Privilege, Intent, Impact, and Healing: thoughts on the upcoming Northwest Yoga Conference, and the importance of "Respecting The Essence of Yoga"
I’m going to be honest:
It is new territory for me to be this direct and public.
But as I have carefully considered the ramifications of both speaking and not speaking, I feel that staying quiet would be untruthful, and as such an act of violence.
I don’t have the illusion that my printing this is going to save anyone. The people directly involved are respected teachers and practitioners with their own voices. Nor is it meant as a condemnation. Rather, I am writing this as an invitation to deep svadiyaya, the practice of self-study- one of the niyamas, or internal disciplines, that are at the root of the more visible practices of yoga as outlined in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras.
As my own practice of svadiyaya, I am writing as honestly as I can about my own perspective, and ultimately the big question which is, to me, about how we create a safe, welcoming, and inclusive space for all who wish to practice yoga- and in so doing, how we create a safer and more inclusive world.
To me, this is about the necessity of recognizing the context in which we present spiritual practice. We cannot present a practice that is about the inherent unity of our beings in a context or an environment that does not honor the often harsh realities of our world and the people in it. For too many, those experiences include race-based, gender-based, ability-based, age-based and sexuality-based violence and bias. We cannot ignore these realities if we wish to address the whole being.
So, this is an invitation to myself and to anyone who reads this to do the ongoing internal work required to create that space – especially when it means self-confronting the assumptions of privilege.
Here is the story: at the 2018 Northwest Yoga conference, distinguished meditation master and yoga teacher Savitri, who was accepting an award on behalf of her husband, esteemed teacher Aadil Palkhivala, and speaking articulately and beautifully about feminine power in yoga, was abruptly asked to stop speaking and leave the conference by Melissa Hagedorn-Phillips, the conference head and founder. You can see a video of the incident here, taken by Odessa Rae, as well as read first person accounts by Savitri, Aadil, and their daughter Zenia.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kImYQ8I1M4I
This visible part of the incident, however, was not the most damaging. Savitri and Aadil were then informed that their classes at the conference were cancelled, and that their table and materials would be dismantled and removed. This exclusion of two of the most senior Indian yoga teachers in this country had a damaging impact on many levels, including economically.
The Seattle yoga community was in conflict, many arguing that this was an act of racism; others contending that it was a poorly managed mistake but that it was not racially motivated.
Regardless, the incidents have never been adequately addressed by Ms. Hagedorn-Phillips.
From all of the channels I have been able to harness, the incident has not been addressed or rectified at all.
I am in no position to determine anyone’s motivations.
However, I don’t believe the motivation is nearly as important as the impact. And the impact is a big deal.
There is the financial loss and emotional distress of the people involved, which is certainly important.
And there is also the impact on the community at large.
The reality of privilege is not that privilege makes us automatic assholes. What it means is that we may be – and probably are-blind to acts of oppression or violence when they do not reside in the spectrum of our own experience. It means that we determine our own viewpoint to be correct or “objective” and because of our social agency, do not need to question that.
Privilege is about the agency given us by oppressive systems, by which we benefit consciously or unconsciously.
These are my privileges: I am white and cisgender. I come from enough economic and emotional privilege that my family was able to help me in crisis. I am able-bodied.
I am also bisexual- but because I am white, cisgender, and able-bodied, my marginalized parts are invisible unless I choose to reveal them—so while I do experience oppression and bias, my privileges give me the option of “passing.” That choice has personal cost- but it is still a privilege in terms of safety and power as I move through the world. None of my privileged parts are bad or wrong, but I receive social protection from the fact that those parts of me- which happen to be the most visible parts-benefit from a white-cisgender-able bodied supremacy world. I am benefitting and receiving protection from a white-centric system despite my sexual orientation. If I were a person of color I would not have this protection.
Am I an asshole because of my privileges? No. Have I unintentionally done things that have had the impact of harm? Yes.
At one point I reached out to a group of mothers to create a dialogue about race- but because of my white privilege I was blind to the ways I was perpetuating implicit bias and maintaining whiteness at the center. I was confronted about this and it was not graceful. But it was a turning point because it taught me that my privilege is not about my INTENT-it is about the IMPACT.
The above incident is what sent me into actively examining my privilege by reading, and taking workshops with leaders such as Reverend angel Kyodo Williams, Robin DiAngelo, Liz Goodwin, and others. Before that confrontation, I believed my intentions were the key. It was a gift that taught me that privilege is not about my perspective, it is about my impact.
As an able-bodied person working extensively with people with disabilities, I come up against my privilege assumptions constantly. At one point at a class I teach at a medical center, a student confronted me gently with the way my language was excluding her experience of chronic pain: “When you say ‘bring your awareness through your body’ – I feel alienated. I have spent most of my life disconnecting because I am in so much pain.” Because I don’t experience chronic pain, despite my technical understanding of her particular condition (Multiple Sclerosis), I was missing the vital piece in which my language was robbing her of her autonomy. I have changed my wording in my classes specialized for disabilities and/ or trauma or chronic pain to “to the degree that feels right today” and give alternatives for utilizing the environment if directly bringing attention to the body feels unsafe or overwhelming.
This is the thing: when we reach beyond our privileges, we will come up against our internal assumptions. Over and over again. There is no endpoint, where we are suddenly done and free of bias. What there is is the gift of making those assumptions conscious, affirming the validity of the hurt of the person marginalized, and being accountable by taking responsibility and action.
Impact is why I am choosing to make this public.
I have no idea about the motivations or intent of Melissa or anyone else involved or presenting at The Northwest Yoga Conference.
What I do see is the impact on the most marginalized people in our community.
I work extensively with survivors of relational trauma, sexual and domestic/ intimate violence and people with disabilities. I witness firsthand, every day, the impact of having the truth of one’s experience denied.
And unfortunately, that is the dynamic I feel I am witnessing. I see privilege, regardless of intent, gaslighting the voiced experience of people who have been wronged- and I see the way that ripples into the community and affects people who identify with being silenced.
My part of the story is this:
I was approached a few months ago by Melissa Hagedorn-Phillips with an offer to present my work on hormonal balance at the 2020 Northwest Yoga Conference. I was honored, but also cautious. I was concerned that I had not seen anything about the situation being addressed with the Palkhivalas in the intervening year and a half since the incident. I was still witnessing a lot of hurt and confusion around the impact, especially from people of color. I reached out to my community, and could not find any evidence of accountability. Nonetheless, I had hope that perhaps there had been actions I did not know about.
I decided to ask for information directly with this letter, in hope that we might have a dialogue about what had been done and what might be done:
Dear Melissa,
Thank you for your invitation. I truly appreciate you offering me an opportunity to share my work at The Northwest Yoga Conference. It would be my honor to present along with so many esteemed teachers and share my work on hormonal balance with the conference participants. However, there is a concern regarding the 2018 conference I'd like to express before I accept. I welcome your input regarding this matter.
My approach to hormonal balance may have a different focus than many, so I want to make sure I clarify the underpinnings of my work to make sure we both feel it is compatible with your needs. My work has a focus not just on symptoms from things going “awry” but also on harnessing the trust in the inherent wholeness of the body’s processes, on hormones as messengers. I spent many years focusing on the processes of women- because as a cis gender woman that was so essential to my practice. In the past five years or so, I have had the opportunity to dismantle my personal viewpoint a bit and move into the deeper understanding that gender and anatomy are not equivalent. I have incorporated this into the language I use to be inclusive.
People born with uteruses tend to be valued for reproductive functioning- and we live in a country with a government that seems to want not just to reinforce this but to imprison it. To feel safe in the body enough to trust the instincts that arise out of the cycles of our hormones and the messages that come in the less “cushioned” periods of premenstruation, postnatal, perimenopause, and post menopause is a true act of courage, and it goes against the grain of our culture
Meanwhile, as I have been pursuing my C-IAYT credential and specializing in trauma, I have had the opportunity to realize and to witness that social injustice and trauma are inextricably linked, that issues of trauma and safety are intersectional. Human-generated trauma is perpetuated not just by people but by the systems that support them. What I have learned from my work in trauma that I find applies to everything is this: the body does not heal without feeling safe.
Learning to create this safe space has been such a journey, and a humbling and never-ending one. A huge part of that has been the process of learning to see and then dismantle my own biases and the ways that I may have caused harm and inadvertently compromised the feeling of safety in others. It applies not just to gender but also to race, age, bodytype, sexual orientation, disability, and any other ways a person might be marginalized. As the Reverend angel Kyodo williams says, “we have to be, not just the change, but the transformation.” I do not have to be perfect or free of bias to create this space--that would be impossible. What I do need to be is accountable. Being accountable tends to be profoundly uncomfortable. But each time I have felt catapulted to a new place.
I am aware of the events that transpired at the 2018 conference. I realize that running a large-scale conference has many challenges, and I respect that such an endeavor is an ongoing learning process. I am bringing this up because, for this to be a good match, I do need to know that the situation has been discussed and addressed with all parties so that the community can start the healing process. I'm concerned that, if not fully addressed, this will not be a place where I can create a safe enough space for my offering. I'd appreciate any information about how those events have been or will be addressed.
I understand that after reading this, you may feel we are not the right match. If you would like to talk further, I would welcome your thoughts.
Best Wishes,
Deborah King (She/ Her Pronouns)
E-RYT 500; YACEP (Yoga Alliance); Advanced Teacher of Yoga Therapy (Kripalu School of Integrative Yoga Therapy)
I did not receive a response to this letter.
I continue to be confronted in my work and in my life with the way people are marginalized, and the ways in which our culture is built around and supported by that marginalization, and especially with the impact that marginalization has. I continue to examine the ways I have done so as a crucial part of the honor of doing my work.
As the Northwest Yoga Conference gets closer, dialogue about the incidents of 2018 has reawakened. I have been asked directly by students if I am attending or participating, so printing this feels like the only viable alternative to staying silent.
My hope is that by speaking this, by making it public, I can add my voice to those asking for accountability both in this specific situation, and in the world of yoga at large.
How do we do the ongoing, joyful work of uncovering and living our full, true selves if we do not serve the world in which we are awakening, or the people with whom we are in interrelationship in this human experience?
In this time we are living in, we simply cannot separate the practice of yoga from the context of the oppression of our systems. We have to be willing to be in continual transformation by coming up against our assumptions and being accountable for the actions borne of them.
In addition, I am happy to provide some acts of hope that the world at large can participate in:
The Heartfull World Foundation is sponsoring “Respecting the Essence of Yoga”- a conference held the same weekend as the Northwest Yoga Conference. This conference is a beautiful, community connecting event honoring the work of Savitri and Aadil Palkhivala. I will be attending to learn, to connect, and to teach.
For more information on “Respecting the Essence of Yoga,” including how to register for the workshops taught by Savitri, Aadil and other fabulous teachers:
https://mailchi.mp/6067098731d5/respectingtheessenceofyoga
Seattle Yoga teacher and educator Lauren Holloway teaches yoga at Franklin High School. This school is one of the most culturally and ethnically diverse schools in the nation. There is a high level of trauma, homelessness, poverty, and this community, with a 93% BIPOC population, is among the most impacted by white supremacy.
This program is in need of financial support, as well as donations of yoga mats and props.
To help, contact Lauren:LDHolloway@seattleschools.org.
There will be a protest at the Northwest Yoga Conference. Information Here:
https://www.facebook.com/events/2189319534710989/
Jennifer Kollasch and I are honored to present our workshop: Re-Growing Our Wings: Yoga for Healing Trauma as part of “Respecting the Essence of Yoga”
Link here:
For more information on the incidents mentioned, as well as brilliant articulations of white privilege, please see the following articles:
Terilyn Were on white privilege:
Laura Humpf’s response to the incidents:
https://www.rainierbeachyoga.com/responding-to-the-nw-yoga-conference/
Intent vs. Impact: https://everydayfeminism.com/2013/07/intentions-dont-really-matter/
Reading suggestions:
Radical Dharma by Reverend angel Kyodo Williams
My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem
White Privilege by Robin DiAngelo
So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo
Beyond Inclusion, Beyond Empowerment by Leticia Nieto
Copyright 2019 by Deborah King